Next week we have our annual Sage Day fund raiser which is for Cancer Research UK. The company is 30 years old this year so we are looking back to the 80s for a fancy dress theme and in a moment of madness I decided a talent show would be a good idea. This gathered some momentum because an evening show we have scheduled for Thursday 14th in the Old Pint Pot can be underpinned with 3 proper high quality acts featuring employees who gig regularly as well as hosting the ‘finals’ of my talent contest.
I’m hoping to present an array of fresh talent but it’s hard work coaxing it out even with the prize of an extra day’s holiday. I know there are plenty of guitarists around but I’ve been learning of and chasing down more varied talents around the office.
I do have a couple of high quality acts lined up to audition as well as a fire eater who’s already been captured but it’s all about the ones that got away: I have a nervous potential stand-up comedian who doesn’t seem quite ready to face us all and a rusty capoeria dancer who, given a couple of extra weeks notice, might have been able to throw some moves.
The human beat-boxer isn’t available to record, I’ve been tipped off about a plate-spinner but they’re in Newcastle and I nearly caught on camera a surprisingly good juggler at my desk yesterday but he won’t perform to order. I have the best 1970s impersonator since Mike Yarwood sitting on my doorstep but he’s reluctant to bring his Frank Spencer, Eddy Waring and Harold Wilsons to the party. One of our exec claimed just before Christmas that she could play any brass instrument known to man but isn’t ready to substantiate this claim on camera. I’ve found a bell ringer, but it’s the wrong sort of bells (ones with ropes) and there’s a guy in support who can do a caterpillar but the pre-requisite quantity of alcohol necessary for a performance precludes its recording in office hours. We have a shy martial artist that I never really expected to reveal her skills but I really really want to coax our Nick into a repeat of his memorable Avril Lavigne Christmas performance of a few years ago – that would be my tip for the top.
And as for me, being the jack of all and master of none it’s a toss up between a rather raw La Bamba or something more amusing and violent but in both cases I’m looking to tempt someone into joining me and share the rotten tomatoes.